Take a look at this picture.
Which did you notice first, the blue tape or the beautiful girl?
This beautiful girl is actually Deaf, or if you want to be politically correct, hearing-impaired.
Our society is fixated to "fix" us.
How do you think our society is trying to fix us?
By forcing us to be like you.
By forcing us to use hearing aids or cochlear implants.
Forcing us to go through surgery to sacrifice whatever hearing we have left to be completely PROFOUNDLY Deaf when the cochlear implants are off.
You made us to be a part machine.
By forcing us to speak like you.
Countless hours perfecting the spoken words by speech therapy.
Sacrificing our childhood and basic education only to speak.
Banning us to use our native language.
Forcing us to adjust to your desired choice of language, using your different methods such as Signed Exact English (SEE), Cued Speech, and just speaking orally while we could have just used ASL.
ASL is the strongest language in the Deaf Community.
By forcing us to match your needs where we obviously cannot do well, this is called Audism.
You oppress us.
Deafness isn't just a handicap.
Deafness is what makes us to be an often unseen culture.
Yes, we're a small community where everybody seem to know each other.
Yes, we are a minority.
It didn't stop us from accepting everybody who grew up in different backgrounds, thus creating a diversity among us.
We unite by many things, but our experience as a Deaf individual is the primary unity.
You rely on your ears to hear, but we rely on our touch and seeing sense to hear.
We experience miscommunications with hearing people.
We experience misunderstanding with hearing people.
Those misunderstandings can lead to lawsuits. (Just a FYI.)
We experience more loop holes than a normal hearing person do by requesting for interpreters, more paperworks, vice versa where a hearing person could just leap through one hoop and have whatever they needed.
(For more information, check this link)
We experience being left out of the conversations.
"Oh, it's not important."
"I will tell you later."
WE HATE THOSE PHASES.
By not having access to closed captioning, we face this scenario.
You wonder why we aren't interested to interact with you?
You leave us out.
So, when you see us having our Deaf time, it's best to leave us alone.
We have our own culture norms,
such as arriving late, and staying longer than the time the event ends.
We have our games where we can be involved only by knowledge of ASL.
(This game is King Monkey/Kong. It's one of a bunch of the games.
Basically, you have to call another person's animal sign and try to accomplish the King Kong spot.)
However, we know you are not a bad person.
We are aware you (normally) unintentionally oppress us.
That is okay.
Now you are somewhat aware, we can work together as humans and get rid of Audism.
All it requires a different way of thinking.
And…
Probably an interpreter.
(Thank you for paying!)
Thank you 40+ volunteers for making this project a success!!!
Nina, this is absolutely incredible! Can we post this on The Deaf Dream? You are amazing, this is so enlightening.
ReplyDeleteWay to go!
Yup!
DeleteBeing left out, having misunderstandings, having to spend years in speech therapy, struggling to learn to speak, those were all things we wanted to avoid with our deaf daughter, and have, thanks to her cochlear implant.
ReplyDeleteMiss Kat,
ReplyDeleteAnd your implanted daughter did not need speech training and therapy? Well I am here to remind you, your intellectually dishonest post is inappropriate. And when your daughter takes off her implant, well then she's still deaf but this time, SOL because nobody thought to teach her ASL. So sad to watch hearing parents unwilling to consider learning ASL and forcing poor children to go through an unnecessary surgery so she can be just like mom and dad.
Uh, my daughter's first language was ASL, so I have no idea what you are talking about. My daughter gets zero therapy outside of school and has made amazing progress and will likely need no support when she is mainstreamed in a year or two. She does not struggle to learn new language and has an amazing childhood. She gets art lessons, tennis lessons, is in girl scouts, and will be taking a fashion design course starting in the new year. There is nothing dishonest about my post. Because she hears and speaks she isn't left out in these classes, she can play with her neighbors, and extended family and was even interviewed on the news.
ReplyDeleteShe isn't hearing and her CI doesn't make her "like me", but it does open up doors that she didn't have when she communicated only through ASL.
I am profoundly deaf - and have a difficult time reconciling the title of this post and the first dozen statements that included things the hearing world has "forced" on us.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a disservice to paint all hearing persons with this brush, and somehow claim this is not an "anti-hearing" post, when there is very little balance.
To be completely truthful, I've seen as many "misunderstandings" with other Deaf persons, as I have with hearing persons. I realize this post is likely intended to be educational for how Deaf persons can feel excluded or pressured - but I can only imagine a hearing person reading this and feeling somewhat attacked (very possibly for infractions they've never committed).
I wish there were more balance in communicating this.
I can relate to both sides because we have a daughter who is deaf. I hate it when she is left out of conversations and I can't always be the one to interpret for her though I do my best. Hearing people don't know what they don't know, the same as with the deaf. I believe that most people deaf and hearing have a longing to connect with each other. Fear is a huge factor in not letting this happen for both sides. Instead of looking at the negative we need to reach out and embrace each other. Don't be quick to condemn each other but have love and patience. The hearing reply on their ears for understanding and most feel awkward when approached by deaf. That doesn't mean that they are insensitive because they don't get what the deaf are trying to convey. I watched a deaf woman blow up at a clerk at a gas station because a she was trying to speak telling her to turn the pump on for her husband. Her speech was inaudible and the clerk was trying to understand but wasn't getting it. The deaf lady totally went off on her assuming she was mocking her and thinking her dumb because she was deaf. The woman's frustration caused fear in both the girl and the rest of the store and the emotional damage was done for all that was involved. I've seen this happen to deaf as well. We need to take the time to invest in each other and give each other a chance to learn. Bridging the communication gap is something we all have to be willing to work towards to be true servants to each other. Lets focus on the positives and let all of us have our helping hands out even if others are afraid to reach for help. When we continue to extend that hand someone, just maybe someone will take hold and your life and theirs will be changed forever. Hugs
ReplyDeleteWell said, you have nailed the human side of the issue. I also have a deaf daughter who I am intensely proud of. She educates, inspires, and touches the lives of many people on a daily basis. It is not always fun or easy, and the repetition of acclimating every person we meet gets old. But she does not show that to each new person, it isn't their fault they are not lucky enough to have a deaf person in their family or lives, so there is no cause to be rude or nasty.
DeleteShe does have a CI, though she chooses not to were it most of the time. As a parent, I wish she would. I don't want her to have to be the lady in the gas station. I dont want her to be excluded, and try hard to keep her involved in conversations and events in day to day life. But the bottom line is, this IS a hearing world. I do see it getting better, but change is slow, and we live in the times we live in. As a parent, is it not my job to provide her with every tool possible that may help her succeed? Skills like cooking, computer literacy, driving, laundry, self assurance, confidence, critical thinking and self defense to name but a few. Viable language threw whatever means necessary. ASL, speech, SEE, video relay, oovoo all of these things she uses to overcome the challenges set in front of her. And she succeeds. She is a certified life guard and is about to test for her second degree black belt in tae kwon do. She is preping for college and hopes to start training for try outs for Team USA. Standard or Deaf Olympics. Point is, deaf, hearing, black, white, seeing, blind, purple, mutant, alien WHATEVER, You play the hand that life deals you, the best you can.
Wisely put from us hearing people's viewpoint, but I can imagine (in my limited experience and ways) why deaf people often grow weary with frustration and impatient wih the ignorance of the hearing community in regards to them. I hope and pray that someday there IS NO "us and them".
Delete.
The problem therein is hearing community is not forced to be like us! I think it important that hearing people learn basic ASL in order to properly communicate with deafs. Not the other way around......
ReplyDeleteMiss Kat's - oral only schools are "years in speech therapy" just fyi
ReplyDeleteNina - keep documenting your experiences and singing and signing your songs of freedom
peace
Patti
So, just using a language is "therapy"? Does that mean that when she was in a bi-bi school she was being forced to endure years of "ASL therapy"?
Delete